I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops