How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

thumb_up thumb_down

911 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops