Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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anal seepage

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girls basketball

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Female rights.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops