If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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