What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Where's my shotgun

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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Six million.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops