A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your Mom is so fat... Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +626

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the Hispanic man say to the black man? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +657

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I went river dancing once. I fell in

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops