How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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Time flies like a banana.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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