Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops