Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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