Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Hellen Keller

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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womens rights

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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