-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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Get it? More.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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