Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

So a baby seal walks into a club...

I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

Heartlight

What do you do when you're bored in Manhattan? You buy a minigun, enchant it to have limitless ammo, and then shoot it for one hour straight, killing innocent pedestrians in time square while laughing hysterically. Or maybe that's just me

Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

Mitch

What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

what happened to your gran you tell me

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

Your moms so old. She might die soon

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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