Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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im saul and i love cock

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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What's up? Your time.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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