How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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