What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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