A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops