How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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