Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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knock, knock come in

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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