Knock knock What?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock whos there? nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops