How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

nba live 13

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

what happens every day? People die

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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