Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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The penn state football administration

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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Obama

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Tacos

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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