How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Hello.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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