A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

who is mark

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops