Melbourne Football Club.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops