What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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Religion

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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