What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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JEWS

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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