Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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Two english guys meet at work

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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