What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Why are trees green? I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

fart

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

do you know what's so funny? yup

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops