Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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womans having rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops