What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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69

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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