Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

...............................................................hi

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

Morning wood.

whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

hi patrick

Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

Oh...okay, good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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