Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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i dont like attention whores lol

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops