What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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69

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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