What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did Bella fly? Very badly.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

thumb_up thumb_down -108

What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops