yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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hi

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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marble

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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