What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Your Mom

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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