Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your face is kinda funny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

asian, do math

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops