An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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