knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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