What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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test

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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