Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What is 9+10? 19

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Justin with a hat.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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