why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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