Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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What do old people really like? Sex.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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