What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Lockerbie bombing

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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A black student graduated High School

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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