Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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Two english guys meet at work

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Ken wins!

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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child labor

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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