A seal walks into a club.

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Abortion.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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I'm Spartacus

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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