a man was shot.... he died

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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