Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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women's rights

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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I have aids

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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???????????? WTF?

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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