Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

Yo moma is so fat. yep.

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

your face is kinda funny

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...