Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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obama

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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p lkl

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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