Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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