how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

come along children

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

i like it in the mouth

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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