one morning i turned on my tv

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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