Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Rylan Clark

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Good afternoon.

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retard

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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