What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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69.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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