The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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