Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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