Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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guess what what that wasnt it

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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