What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Baseball

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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