What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A delicious and hearty breakfast that lowers cholesterol and is good for the heart

thumb_up thumb_down +227

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Washington say to California? WC

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops