What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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