Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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